Prescribed-Madness

One day I woke up to the sound of breaking. The fire was outside my window And the smoke streamed in over my head And the sirens, oh, the sirens The red and the blue and the red reflected On grey and black and grey and death. I thought about how my heart Had ached and my lungs had burned And I closed my eyes. One day I woke up to the sound of stillness. The needle sunk in my wrist And the blurriness clouded my vision And the beeping, oh, the beeping The red and the black and the red smeared across The white and grey and white and nothing. I thought about how my mind Had ran and my muscles had atrophied And I closed my eyes. One day I woke

When my vision goes black And the edges of Coherency Smudge, in vibrant daydreams - I know I know that I need To stop doing this To stop being so, Being so damn scared. I know that I Am the reason I’m Unhappy; I give Unrealistically And I take Too fickly. And I know that I Am the only one who hates me. And I know that I can ramble Jesus, I could fucking ramble for hours About you, about me about About what I used to have About what I used to feel About what Listen, There’s a tide; A force that pulls me Away from you - Away from Where I want to be And, goddamn, My nails have been Pulled off so, So many Times When I try to bury

There’s a moment When you look to the stars, and You believe there’s something more - There’s something different In the air you’ve breathed Tonight. As if the stillness that You always feel cloud your lungs Decided that, well, for a Change It’d start moving again. But then you wake up. And you remember. And you feel it. You look to your alarm clock, and By god, when did those scars get there? You sigh a deep, Empty, Benign sigh. Because you remember that you’re here; Grounded by the gum riddled tarmac Beneath your feet And not the star spangled heavens Above your eyes. You walk the street, The bitter

She pulled her stark and bruised knees to her battered ribcage As if she could somehow, somehow pull hard enough she would implode And not have to see their smiling faces again. The whites of her knuckles were an unfathomable shade of anger And the apples that resided below her irises shone like dewdrops in April; Her marine shirt stained with realisation. She tried harder than most: chin up, chest out – arms crossed, keep that smile. Yet somehow, somehow she was still thrown to the curb at the fray Despite laughing on cue, helping on cue: This is what betrayal felt like. She didn't understand. Despite all of this, They had left her beh

I used to wake up and Not want to die.

The world spun with the smudges of incoherency – Edges of my thoughts ebbed away, leaving dog-eared pages As I hurried along the epileptic staircases. I spilled the remains of my catharsis across his morbid face; He just shook his head with eyes of marble When my ruby arteries glittered at his feet And the glass of my irises bled solder onto his bootstraps But his stony voice didn’t need to echo through my copper skull For me to know that he was telling me to stop aching again. I fumbled to the depths of these jetted mountains And dived to the peaks of these sculpted basements To find the adhesive that would make your personality

And when you smile it makes my heart swell To the point where it’s so full of everything That it bursts, and all the good things Crash out of the cracks you made. And I held out my hands to catch the rain So I could hold it up to you And tell you that not everything I have Is fleeting. And you could laugh with her forever But not see me cry at all Because those rose-tinted glasses Are one-way. And you saw all my faults straight away Yet are oblivious to her exact same ones So you tell me I’m being petty And don’t see her smirk. And you can’t admit that when I smile at you That you realise you’ve made a big mi

Today, when you shout at me that you don’t love her I see the tell-tale shadows dancing under your eyelids And am wracked with the realisation that you don’t love her now But you wish you did. (That was enough for me.) When you speak with her in hushed giggles Then try to obscure the smile growing across your canvas I see the longing sparking up in your long subdued irises Then pitch into guilt. (Because she shouldn’t be yours.) You look over at me, sometimes With an anchored and etched mien, watching for tells Of my unrequited and binding affections as you Try not to hurt me. (But do, anyway.) You stare at her, you know

I know that you’re not mine - And I know that you’ll never be mine, But could you please cast me some Consideration when you Laugh with her and flirt with her Right in front of me? To the point I have to leave the room To cry I’d really appreciate it if you could Remember my feelings Even though they’re stupid And I need to let them go. Guess that I’m just Resentful that you Like her more than me Despite the fact that I like you More than anyone else. And that you, Up until a month ago, Disliked her. Guess that I just want too much from you; Or I just feel threatened, But when you laugh with her Don’t pa

The first time I told you that I love you I was nervous, but still held onto a Bit of hope For your Positive correspondence. The first time I told you that I love you I poured my heart into it, made Such a quiet deal of it Because I wanted You to believe Me. The first time I told you that I love you I ran away after I did it and I Still haven’t received a Direct response to it. Not that I want to, Because After the first time I told you that I love you You kept your distance for a While Casting awkward smiles at me From shattered hallways Trying to avoid my Innocently longing Features that shined Like crimson in the cold sunlight.